Backpacking through Europe in 1994

Day 55 • October 31, 1994
Halloween in Lund, Sweden

I am finding some remarkable jewels of insight into my personality in my journal entries from 30 years ago, and it is a nice feeling to be able to share them with you.

One of those was from this day, when I wrote “I had a feeling today … for the first time, I actually thought Kearney was a cool place to live. For the first time, I saw its positive features instead of its negative ones. And I actually could picture myself being happy there…”

So from the negative emotional mess and suicidal state that I was six months earlier when I came up with this crazy idea to get out of Kearney, Nebraska, NO MATTER WHAT, to getting to this positive, introspective state, realizing home wasn’t so bad after all, and even looking forward to getting back there, I would say this backpacking adventure had been fantastic therapy for me!

And what I find truly remarkable is how prescient I was: As I write these words on November 16, 2024, I am blessed to say I have lived in Kearney and made my home here since 2006 - more than 18 years!

I love it here, I love my hometown of Kearney, and I love my state of Nebraska. It truly is the Good Life here.

And 30 years ago, all it took for me was going halfway around the world to realize it!

My Photographs from today in Lund

DAY 55 / 10-31-94
Lund, Sweden

Halloween. Today has been kind of hard for me. I am definitely homesick. But I think one of the good things is I can admit it, and I’m not fighting it. But it’s weird. At the same time that I’m sad I’m not home, I’m also sad that I’m leaving joe, and I’m also happy to be seeing Pernille tomorrow.

I had a feeling today though that was a little scary. For the first time, I actually thought Kearney was a cool place to live. For the first time, I saw its positive features instead of its negative ones. And I actually could picture myself being happy there. Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to live my whole life there, and I know there are greater things for me than Kearney Nebraska. But I also know that I can stay there a while longer, and I won’t be chomping on the bit to get out.

Anyway, the calmest Halloween I’ve EVER had went something like this: I didn’t do much of anything from the time I woke up at 11 until Joe got home from school at 1. But after that, we took the train to Malmo. Joe does a lot of rock climbing, and a few months ago he got his pack stolen. He just got his insurance check so it was like a shopping spree for him.

It was during this time that I did a lot of thinking about home, especially how much fun it would be to go camping or skiing or stuff like that with the Dome guys.

After that we walked around town a little, including going back by the Slaughterhouse. It helped to make me remember more of the night, including an escapade in the back rooms and storerooms and the 2nd and 3rd floors of the club.

We caught the train back, and I’ve spent the rest of the night writing in this and watching TV, the highlights of which were Cheers, Beavis & Butthead & Rocky 4. Now it’s almost 2 am, and I’m going to try to sleep.

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