Backpacking through Europe in 1994

Day 83 • November 28, 1994
Traveling to Rota, Spain

By this point in the trip, I was running on fumes.

After another frustrating night of missed and nonexistent trains, I finally caught a break on November 28. I ended up on one of Spain’s brand-new high-speed AVE trains, which was heading all the way to Cádiz — with a stop in La Puerto de Santa Maria, right near where Jeff was stationed. After weeks of constantly changing trains and dealing with last-minute problems, it felt almost too good to be true to finally have one smooth, direct ride.

I spent most of the day on the train, talking with another backpacker named Mark and trying to recover from the stress of the previous 24 hours. But the real emotional weight of the day came later, when I received a card and letter from my mom.

Reading her words while sitting on that train hit me harder than I expected. She had been sick, worried about me, and clearly carrying a lot of stress about my safety, my finances, and when I was finally coming home. At the same time, she was excited — counting down the days until I returned. It was a mix of love, worry, and quiet exhaustion that came through in every line.

After nearly three months of moving from place to place, I was now very close to the final stop of the trip. I was tired, I was running out of money, and I was ready to go home. But I was also starting to feel a sense of closure approaching.

No Photographs from today

DAY 83 / 11-28-94
TRAVELING TO ROTA, SPAIN

… over there & wait until my train left at 8:00 [am]. Even though my spot was nice, I preferred the real safety of the station.

I took my time putting my pack back together, so it was about 5:40 [am] when I was back inside the station. I looked on the board for the day ‘s trains but Fuck Me – there was no 8:00 [am] to Madrid!

Right then another train pulled in. I asked the conductor where it was to & he said Barcelona.

“What time does it arrive?”

“8:25”.

I cross-checked my train schedule, & there was a train from Barcelona to Madrid that left at 9:30 [am] and arrived at 15:00 [3:00 pm].

My gut said go with this, the sure thing, and not wait around the poe-dunk place any longer.

But my luck turned a little [down]. I found out along the way that this train was going to the wrong station in Barcelona (there are 2 of them) for my train to Madrid. But I’d have an hour to get there & I was told it only takes about 2 minutes by metro.

So I slept the whole way from Barcelona – I needed it – and found the info desk when I arrived. When I asked for the directions to the other station, the attendant looked confused & asked why.

“I need a train to Madrid.”

“Well, there is one that leaves from here,” she checked her watch, “RIGHT NOW! Quick, hurry, Track 7.”

I bolted down the escalator & down the platform.

My luck changed one more time, this time it swung way up in the positive direction. This was one of Spain’s new High Speed Trains, AVE*. It has a scrolling LCD display on the side of the cars listing all of the stops. Not only did this train go to Madrid, it went ALL THE WAY to Cadiz, stopping at none other than La Puerto de Santa Maria, the station where Jeff is supposed to eventually pick me up at!!!

I won’t have to change any more fucking trains today. Just find a spot & kick back!

Since it was a high speed one, I’d have to pay a seat reservation fee (usually around $5) and I had 20,000 pesetas from the Menjoulou’s (about $20), so I was all set. I would pay them whatever they wanted, just so I wouldn’t have to fucking change again.

I turned out I had to pay 60, ($6) – FANTASTIC!

It’s now almost 5:00 [pm], only 3.5 hours left, no problem at all. It has been cloudy all day, very overcast and dreary, but within the last 15 minutes the clouds have broken – in fact now there’s no clouds. Just a clear blue sky & bright sunshine.

And now my gut is telling me something else: Everything is going to be just fine. I’m going to have an awesome week on the beaches of Spain with my buddy. Sweet!

* The first AVE service was inaugurated in 1992, with the introduction of the first Spanish high-speed railway connecting the cities of Madrid, Córdoba and Seville. Alta Velocidad Española translates to "Spanish High Speed", but the initials are also a play on the Spanish word ave, meaning "bird". AVE trains operate at speeds of up to 300 km/h (186 mph). So it was still very new when I rode it in 1994.

Toddo,

SINCE WE’VE BEEN APART, IT HASN’T BEEN THAT EASY…
IT’S TOUGH GOING THROUGH HUG WITHDRAWL!

And I’m now down to counting down the days & soon the hours before you’re back home & I can start getting those HUGS AGAIN!!

Yea, I’m really excited and sure am looking forward to having you safely home once again :-)

I’m sure you had lots of hours to reflect on many, many things. Counting the hours until Sunday PM (night) & that big HUG again.

XX Love you lots, Mommie

Here’s a Great Big Hug & Kiss from Tams too. X :-)

Tams has been counting the time left since SEPTEMBER 7 I think!!! She is super excited (thrilled) you’ll be home for Christmas & talks about it & how many days are left CONSTANTLY!! Yippee!

Monday 11-28th

Dear Toddo –

Hey guy!! How’s my favorite #1 son doing?!! Got your letter today – one sent between Norway & Spain – and you sound great!! Yea – good!! I read your letter 3 times as it made me feel really good knowing you’re feeling really good about yourself -- & that you’ve had a good trip & time & experiences – and most especially gratifying to know you’ve learned some things about yourself & your good life you can have – and that things aren’t always greener on the other side!

We are all so happy & excited that you’ll be home for Xmas!! I really have missed you & I, too, am very anxious and ready to have you safely home again and to have our talks again. I, too have missed them.

So – yes it will be a great Xmas & I know you’ll have lots to catch up on!! Hope you’re feeling good – are you gaining weight too?? Or just more hair?? Long hair & beard, huhg??

I’m so sorry & feel so bad that I haven’t written you more times. It isn’t like me & really stinks, huh?!!! – I had a rough 2 month. September & October & felt lousy. After going to 3 specialists (2 here and 1 doctor in Hasting) I found out I had a bladder infection and what’s called an irritable bowel. I had terrible discomfort & even pain in my lower abdomen. Was very bloated & full of gas. Of course my headaches got worse & so did my disposition I was really down from feeling so lousy & could barely function. I also made another trip to Omaha to see my doctor there. He changed a couple prescriptions. So I saw 4 doctors in a month – and one told me I needed surgery (hysterectomy, which I was going to do last week). The dummy. Thank goodness I went for a 2nd and then a 3rd opinion!

I started working at the college again October 1st – 3 days a week 8-4 or 8-5. We don’t test on Tuesday or Friday but I always have plenty to do on those days. We really enjoyed our trip to Oklahoma City to see Tracy. It was a fun weekend.

We also had a very nice Thanksgiving at Steuhms with Joyce’s and Kenny & Grandma Steuhm there too. Ritche’s didn’t come over. She told Tracy S. she was feeding the homeless!! She probably meant Chris & Kate!!!

I’ve been trying to get my Xmas shopping done – big job!! I found what you wanted for Olivier and will send it this week. Also sending something to the Menjoulou’s from you. It’s a table runner (Xmas scene). Hope they like it!!

Your plane ticket is here & I’ll mail this week too!! I’m glad we could get a decent one for less than $1,500 —> you’d have been swimming home!!! HA

We got a Thanksgiving card from Kyle & Jen. They asked about you & when you’d be home! Said they could even pick you up at the airport. So I’ll call them with flight info for the 15th. I’m sure you can stay with them at Pam & John’s a couple nights – go to the Symphony with the group – Tim already said he’d bring you home!

That’s if I can wait 2-3 more days to see you after you get to Omaha! Tracy is driving home on the 15th. We haven’t decided yet if we’ll go to the Symphony yet this year or not. It seems like there is still so much to do these next few weeks. Haven’t started my cards yet or wrapped any presents. We want to have a party again this year & also have Jim’s staff over. It’ll all get done I’m sure – but I’m really tired & still struggle some days. Yes, I’m back to seeing the counselor again & also a physical therapist.

Better close buddy & get this mailed today. Want to send a short note to you at Jeff’s & hope it gets there before you leave. I really am sorry I haven’t written you more times… like one letter at every place!! I don’t know where the time has gone – can’t believe you’ve been gone 12 weeks today. (the 29th). And this is only my 4th letter????! Bad Mommy Dog. You probably think that I don’t care about you or have forgotten you. :-( :-( NOT.

Have a great last 10 days buddy. Enjoy the Menjoulou’s and give them GROS BIJOUS (Big Hugs & Kisses from me … & Tams … & from Brandy [our dog] to Olivier!!)

We’ll see you in just two short & fast weeks – Wheee —> Hoorah!!!

Have a very safe trip home – Be Careful & Take Good Care of Yourself T.

You have a brand new life awaiting you in good ole Kearney, Neb.

Love & Miss you Lots – Mommy XXOOO

PS – I mailed a card to Susan. She’ll be ecstatic to get it believe me!!! And she wants you to do her family portrait Xmas weekend!!!

PPS. Better really think about moving in with Tim right away -> like what you’ll do for rent – food – utilities, etc. Plus your credit card bills!! You might have to put up with us for a while. :-) :-) :-(

Looking Back

This was one of those days where the trip stopped feeling like an adventure and started feeling like something that needed to end.

After another frustrating stretch of missed and nonexistent trains, I finally caught a break and boarded one of Spain’s new high-speed trains heading toward Cádiz. For the first time in days, I could actually relax a little. But the real weight of the day came when I received a card and letter from my mom.

Reading her words on that train hit me harder than I expected. She was clearly struggling — physically and emotionally — but she tried to stay positive. She wrote about missing our talks, counting down the days until I came home, and how excited she was that I would make it back for Christmas and the Symphony. She even apologized for not writing more, as if she had done something wrong by not keeping up while she was sick.

At the time, I was mostly focused on myself — how tired I was, how ready I was to go home, and how much I missed my friends. But looking back now, I can see how much she was carrying. She was dealing with her own health issues, worrying about me constantly, and still trying to be supportive from thousands of miles away.

My mom passed away in 2012. She never got to see any of this — the website, the photos, the stories, or the way I’ve tried to piece this journey together. That thought sits with me every time I read her letters from this trip. She was always in my corner, even when I made things harder than they needed to be.

That letter on November 28 reminded me that no matter how far I traveled or how lost I sometimes felt, there was someone back home who loved me deeply and just wanted me to come back safe. I’m grateful I got to read those words while I was still on the road. And I’m even more grateful that I made it home to her.

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